Two Idiots and a Funny
Idiot the First
Last night, as I was walking towards the T station, I noticed that there were still a few seconds left to cross the street. So, I did what any walking-in-Boston specialist would do, and speed-walked up to the corner. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood for running, so as I got there, the cars started streaming through the intersection.
As I sped up, though, a gentleman that I passed glared at me and muttered something completely indecipherable. It didn’t phase me in the slightest. People can be weird. Whatever.
When he reached the corner just behind me, he did something that any normal tourist would do (not that I thought he was a tourist, he didn’t have the bright orange “Bamboozle ME!” sticker on his forehead). He pressed the button on the post to get a walk signal. It’s not necessary at this intersection. Walk signals are part of the rotation. But that’s not what made him an idiot. Uninformed, perhaps, but not an idiot.
So, here I am, standing at the corner of two major 3-lane one-way streets, during rush hour, waiting for my chance to cross. And there he goes, pressing the button, holding his hand out like Correy Dillon in a bizarre attempt to stiff-arm the cars, strolling across the intersection, diagonally. Horns honked, but he didn’t get hit. My jaw dropped. And the shock was fully complete when he got to the opposite corner and pressed the button on that crossing signal post as he passed on down the sidewalk.
Idiot the Second
I’m pretty sure that pedestrians have the right of way in crosswalks. I was about to cross a small road at an intersection with no traffic signals this morning, and an incessant beeping came from over my left shoulder. This was a reverse T intersection. I was walking along a one way road in the direction of that traffic, and about to cross a one way road that leads away from the more major road I was walking along.
So, along that major road came a taxi cab. That would be the source of the beeping. Myself and a couple other bleary-eyed commuters stopped just in time to watch him whip around the corner, almost hitting someone who had made it more than halfway across the clearly-marked crosswalk.
The Funny Sandwich
So stuck right between those two crazy adventurous moments, I heard the neatest thing. My radio station was interviewing Caroline Rhea this morning. She’s a fun lady. And she said something about Boston that struck me as pretty funny. I managed to write it down in my magazine while at a stop light.
“You know what I like about Boston? You guys celebrate all four seasons most days.”
Just cause you have the right-of-way doesn’t mean you can’t get run over!
Yeah… well…
My sister, who is a super-senior in college (5 year program on purpose) is always begging cars to hit her on campus. She figures if they hit her, it’ll pay for her tuition. And if they hit her while she’s in a crosswalk, she’ll never have to work again.
An interesting idea, but not one I’d try out.