Call Me Inept
Call me Inept.
My shiny new half hour commute took me an hour and twenty minutes today. Want to know how to do that? Here are some step by step instructions:
1. Walk out the door at 7:00 and discover that it’s cold out. Realize that your coat is still packed. Dig through the boxes in the closet until you find the one marked “coats.” Dig through the coats and find your coat at the bottom of the rather large box. Put on your coat. Walk out the door.
2. Drive from to Malden. See a sign welcoming you to Melrose. Wonder where the hell Melrose is. Find Main St. Breathe a sigh of relief. Drive to Malden.
3. Park at Oak Grove. Find parking space. Space is too narrow. Try parking there anyway. Readjust twelve times. Squeeze out through narrow door opening.
4. Put monthly pass in Charlie Pass doohickey. Rejected. Try another booth. Rejected. Try another booth. Rejected. Look in ticket window. No one there. Look in other ticket window. No one there. Stand there confused. Get approached by MBTA employee. Try with her watching. Light says “already used.” She tells you to wait 20 minutes.
5. Decide to buy a “token” instead. Discover that tokens are no good here. Buy a single ride Charlie Pass instead. Insert Charlie Pass with her watching. Get instructions for use tomorrow.
6. Go to platform. Watch train pull away. Get on stationary train. Wait a few minutes until that train pulls away.
7. Get off at Chinatown. Walk up stairs. Feel confident that you know exactly where you are. Stop at the Double D to grab a muffin. Walk like you know where you’re going.
8. Walk by the Super 88.
9. Wait, what? No. Discover that you’re in the completely wrong place. Retrace your steps. Pick a random road you’ve heard of before. Walk like you know where you’re going.
10. Find yourself in front of the NEMC T stop. Whimper. Walk like you know where you’re going.
11. Bail on Stuart St. because you think you’ve gone the wrong way on it. Wander aimlessly. See Mass Pike. Follow it West. Find Arlington St. Celebrate. Walk like you know where you’re going.
12. Cross Stuart St. Oops.
13. Arrive at Boylston St. Ride the elevator up to the 11th floor. Sit at your desk at 8:23.
P.S. I’m not dead, just extremely busy. New job == shitty commute == tired Diane == moving Diane == packing == tired Diane == hired movers == moved == slowly settling Diane. I haven’t read anyone else’s blogs either. I’ve been cut off.
Consider this entry a bonus, as I promised some people I would start up again in June. I make no promises of anything else happening before June.
I missed you too, blogosphere.
Ooh… Sorry to hear! That’s quite an adventure.
I traveled through time to catch my train after I overslept. I’ll gift you some of my luck for tomorrow.
You’re not dead! Yay! ;-) (not that i ever update so i probably shouldn’t talk…but whatever)
Glad to see you’re still around. Good luck with the job.
I want to know how to travel through time! NO FAIR!
Really, what I want is teleporting capabilities. Be it by special mutation of my DNA or by invention of the transporter, I do not care. (Though, being able to do it myself is probably cooler.) I hate spending time going from point A to point B. All those points in between annoy me.
Not dead, still around, all those things. Thanks for making me feel wanted, kids. Now, if only I could get my ass in gear enough to read other blogs…
Oh man, I am so behind!
You ever hear of “The Tomorrow People” Diane? I would so love their abilities.
I am not familiar with this television show. In fact, I only know it’s a television show because I just did a quick google search. The fact that it was on Nickelodeon probably has an effect on my lack of knowledge. That channel was so not allowed when I was growing up.