Not as Cool as Mrs. Head
[Editor's Note: If you don't know what Roshambo is, you should read up on it first. Then, if you want to practice, try out the Roshambot. My winning percentage after 20 throws was 5%. Not so hot, actually, but better than losing.]
I’m no poker blogger. I’ve never been to Vegas. I’ve never met Phil Gordon in person. I’m just not as cool as Mrs. Head. (Don’t know what I’m talking about? Start here. Then read this, then this, and finally finish off here. Trust me when I say this is an awesome story.)
I have no idea how we got to 1-1 and a giggling stare down at the Sole on Friday. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m pretty sure the day started off normally. I’m also pretty sure we had started the day with no intention of being in Worcester that night. But the weather predictions at the time were grim for Saturday evening, and weather.com recommended we complete all travels by late afternoon Saturday, so we traded in our Saturday tickets for Friday tickets to see Much Ado About Nothing as directed by the lovely Kelly.
Confused yet?
Kelly’s cast did a fabulous job putting up the Shakespeare play Much Ado About Nothing. It was very funny, as it should be, and the language didn’t seem to tongue-tie anyone. The interaction was great, and the bubbling fountain was extravagant. Well done.
After the show, we were chatting in the Little Theatre for approximately forever. Finally, Kelly kicked us out. and five of us went on down to the Sole for expensive drinks. Mike was not thrilled. He seemed to get over it, however, when his margarita was delivered in a pint glass. My mojito was similarly large, and definitely powerful. Chris and Rob shared a bowl, and Dave went for something completely different – cappuccino. (I bet you thought I was going to say Diet Coke.)
We were talking and drinking for quite a while, and I really couldn’t tell you how the topic of conversation got around to Roshambo, but it did. Next thing you know, I’m challenging Mike… or did he challenge me… to a best two out of three battle. We reassured each other on the rules – straight out of “The Nuts” features ESPN’s WSOP broadcasts. One – Two – Shoot. No three. Shoot on “shoot.” Ready? Okay.
I started the match with rock, to get a feel for Mike’s state of mind. Obviously, we were on the same wavelength, as he also threw rock. No matter. We started again. Rock and rock, again! Okay, I think, he must be going avalanche. The right answer to that would be paper. Oh no! He’s in my mind! Paper and paper! Three shoots, three ties! I started giggling uncontrollably. Chris and Dave could not believe their eyes: the match was so matched. Rob could not believe his eyes: we were actually playing “Rock-Paper-Scissors” in a fancy restaurant.
I thought through my process some more, looking for a hole in Mike’s game. Scissors would be an obvious answer to paper, but he won’t do paper again. But he’ll think the same thing about me. So it will have to be rock. But that’s what he’ll think… In some round about way, I ended up with scissors. Damn it! Another tie! This was getting out of control. But I could handle it. Paper! Five shoots, five ties?! Whoa. This is one for the ages.
Okay, let’s settle down. We were all giggling. Someone kept saying something about the odds of that happening were outrageous. I took a cosmic breath, stared Mike down, and “One – Two – Shoot!” Rock! And he had scissors! I was up one! Awesome! I took the obvious approach in the next shoot, and my scissors were smashed by his rock. We were tied, once again, but now the game was on the line.
“One – Two – Shoot!” Tied on rock. Deep breath. Giggle. Another deep breath. “One – Two – Shoot!” Paper! And what’s that? Is that… a rock?! WOOT!
The giggling continued for several minutes, as we explained the stories we’d seen and heard about Roshambo. Mike discussed his theory for how to go up against the great Phil Gordon. I’m doubtful of his potential for success, but he might be able to get one up on his first shoot, if he’s careful.
Unfortunately, no money, nor any worldly possession, was on the line. Pride, however, was out there to be taken. I am totally awesome. I’d challenge you… but… I don’t know… I’d hate to take your pride away. Heh… heh…